Lameosity

I've been so lame this week. Actually, I've been lame for months now. :(

I'm keeping up with some blogs, and working on walking everyday. The truth is, I drink too much. I love having a cocktail or beer with my DH; he loves socializing and eating dinner out.

Something's gotta change....

14257 steps
Awful eating today. 2 on a scale of 1 - 6, 6 being really good.
Pretty good spirits. :D

I am a slougher

The reason I haven't posted is because I've been doing terribly. I can eat well - up until dinner time. I can exercise - up until the weekend. I can not drink - up until the kids are gone to their dads's. I CAN'T keep all areas under control at once to save my life!

My trip to Vegas really undermined my resolve. I've made half-hearted attempts at restarting everything a new but have only made it through three days or so.

I need to kick start things off again...

Things In Life Can Waylay Efforts

I know I haven't written in a while. Last Thursday when I weighed in at 169.8. I actually GAINED four ounces.

Wednesday my pedometer died. I walked the park outside the office four times but still only had 2000 steps registered. I thought it was because of where I was wearing it that day. The next day I went to IKEA at lunch. I parked as far from the building as I could. I walked around for an hour - and it registered 800 steps. How frustrating! Friday I went home sick from work and I didn't walk a single extra step all weekend. That is just terrible.

In my mind I knew I should get out. I didn't compensate by lessening what I ate. I didn't drink nearly enough water. In fact, I had a weekend much like every other weekend of my life before this attempt.

Monday, the weather was a bit more co-operative than the weekend. (Which was COLD, rainy, sometimes snowy even!) I was able to head out from my desk three times and make it around the park four times. Still didn't make it to 10k steps that way but I did get to 8k.

Then all hell broke loose at home. My oldest decided to skip school. When I heard (from my husband who happened to go home early that day) I jumped straight into my car and flew home only to find her boyfriend naked hanging out in her room. This is the third time she's pulled this stunt. Long story short - she left yesterday. I can't say she ran away because she's 18, but she decided to try and life off on her own. I know she's been wanting to for a while. My biggest worry is that she won't finish school. She's only got 2.5 months left!

Another "diet buster"? I did have beer last night. Only two though. And I did get over 10k steps in because I went out after dinner to clear my head. And I did drink my water yesterday. Of course I cried some of it out. I'm better now. Clearer perspective. There's not much I can do and I still have two other kids that need me. Pickin' myself up, brushing myself off...starting a new day.

Happy Easter!

I was doing so well with my 10K steps a day...til Friday. I got home and hadn't even hit 4,000. I had to pick up my son from camp and we ended up eating at the BK Lounge. Once I'd eaten my garden burger (no mayo) and side salad, I ended up on the couch feeling a nap trying to overtake me. By the time Hubba-hubba came home I was in a funk. So I forced myself out the door and took a walk. When I got home I was in a much better mood, so we went out for the night.

Now I like going out if I get a chance to sleep in - theoretically - but my eyes auto-open at 7am no matter what I do. I stayed home all day Saturday and cleaned house. I didn't get 10K steps in, but the energy I expended cleaning must count up to something.

We had our fourth CD challenge meeting last night and I didn't drink at all. Had five friends over, they all got trashed but I drank water. It worked for me. We stayed up late, some of us later than others (I gave in to the sleepies at 2am - Hubba-hubba stayed in the hot tub 'til wee morning hours) and again I was wide awake at 7am this morning. I'll so be ready for a nap later....


So, I'm getting it off my chest now that I realize I won't get 10K steps in today and I will probably eat more than my allotted 1500 calories today what with dinner at my parents and dessert at the in-laws...plus chocolate will be around. Yesterday I found dark chocolate peanut M&Ms. OMFG! WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO TO ME?!? I'm not a big candy eater however dark chocolate is my weakness. Thank goodness I'm pretty much done with run of the milk chocolate after 3 mouthfuls. I'm just confessing now that I'm finishing up my week with a total downhill slide. *Sigh* I will have to really concentrate next week on meeting all of my goals.

GOALS:
10K steps per day
Less than 1500 calories per day
Make dinner at home at least five nights
Drink 4 liters of water each day

That's not much to worry about is it?

Thursday Weigh In

I was *so* excited to do a weigh in this week because I really felt like I was making serious progress. I've been drinking 3 - 4 liters of water a day, I've eating right and I've averaged nearly 10K steps a day.

Weight went UP this week. 169.8

HOWEVER, my little magic scale that tells me how fat I am in other ways besides pounds. My percentage of fat went down and my body water content went up. I never recorded what those number were so I don't know exactly what the change is, but I will from now on because those numbers will come into play more than weight I think...uh, except now I don't remember exactly what they were. I think my percentage of body fat went from somewhere around 40% to 38% and water content went to 47% (should be 50% or higher).

Plus, my aunt is coming to visit any day now. I can tell because I ate like there was no tomorrow last night after bowling. Cheerios at 11:00pm. And garlic bread with buffalo meatballs on top. Sometimes ya' just gotta go with those sorts of things.

Goals: WALKING

I got this fancy new pedometer. I thought it was really cool...and then I saw the four dead ones I have sitting on my dresser. Meh, this time it will be different.

Right?

So far right! Last week I logged nearly 67,000 steps. My goal is 70,000 which, of course, takes an average of 10,000 per day. I was pretty proud of the fact that in the middle of the week I only logged 7,000 steps a couple of those days so I ramped it up over the end of the week to try and make up for it. I didn't quite get there but I'm pretty stoked about how well I did. Five days out of seven I made it past 10K. That's huge for me. It was one of my goals for the week to walk half an hour every day - I got that accomplished AND my goal for three weeks out which is to ramp it up to a goal of 45 minutes a day of walking. I'll have to think of another goal I guess. One that involves another behavior I need to work on - like hoarding newspapers or pinching small babies when their mothers aren't looking.

Weigh In

BTW - I was 169.4 lbs

I guess that counts as five pounds lost but I'm not really sure how my scale at home compares to the scale the weighed me on at work. We'll see this Thursday.

Water. Water is the key to me not eating my arm off. I've been keeping a food diary and tracking calories and fat grams. Whenever I've done this before, I'd eat just the lightest of light meals (I thought so anyway but there seemed to always be cheese involved!) trying ever-so-carefully to keep my count low through the day so I could eat a decent meal at night. Then I'd be so hungry I'd shove anything down my gullet.

Drinking water has helped the hunger A LOT. I start my day with coffee as usual. I make sure I have a low-fat breakfast that's around 200 - 250 kcal. By the time I get to work I'm done with coffee so I switch to water. I have a one liter Dasani bottle sitting on my desk all day and I fill it up at least three times if not four. It has totally eliminated my need for any type of mid-morning or mid-afternoon snack. Awesome!

Weigh day

Today is my weigh in day. I'm curious to see if there's any progress to be seen yet. I kinda went on the straight and narrow right before the official weigh in so I'm wondering what my weight would have been if I had just kept on like I was....slowly getting fatter and fatter and fatter. It can really creep up on you!

I walked over 10K steps Monday and Tuesday but only got in 7K yesterday. I think it will probably be all right though. Don't want my legs falling off. Its been nice to be able to sit in the hot tub and let it all relax at night. Kinda makes me not mind paying $100 a month to keep it running. (No frugality there!)

I had a dream last night that someone gave me $4800 to start a business. Like it was known that I had this burning desire to begin working on this idea I had and this organization heard about it and found me and gave me the money. Sadly, I don't remember what my burning desire was. If I knew that I think I'd be on my way out of this paper bag of mid-life crisis I can't find my way out of.

If someone gave you $4800 to start a venture - what would you do with it?

DST kicks my ass

I wonder if my 40+ year old bad self will ever get used to this earlier version of daylight savings time. I can't seem to get to bed before 11:45pm and this is kickin' my ass. I have GOT to get to bed earlier tonight.

I had a pretty alright day goal wise - however it sucked as far as inter-personal relationships with hormonal 13 year olds goes. AND it sucked as far as being WAY in over my head with SQL programming. *sigh* I have GOT to get out of where I am. (I'm not a programmer, I just play one on TV)

I think the eating thing and drinking water thing and walking thing has pretty much clicked. The DH tried to sabotage me by bringing home cheesy breadsticks from Round Table pizza. I think he likes me fat! Which I understand (I guess); fat = complacent and willing to stay par for the course. Losing weight = change, possible ramifications for him.

Never made the chicken last night, it didn't thaw in time. It will be tonight. I made mashed potatoes and everyone pretty much ate whatever the hell they wanted. Its so discouraging to not be able to put a meal together. I really hate being the only one that figures this stuff out. Tonight the eldest said she'd make dinner....thank you eldest! I love you!

48297

That's the number of official steps there are on my new pedometer. I say "official" steps because I didn't get the thing until Tuesday and I forgot to wear it on Saturday even though I did go on a long 1 hour walk Saturday plus I did lots of work around the house and in the yard. I think if I'd had it on I'd be closer to pushing 60K steps. That's equivalent to walking half an hour or more each day of the week so that's one of my goals met!

I think that's pretty good, and it wasn't that hard.

The other goal I met this week - drank water. LOTS of water. Even this weekend I averaged over 100 ounces per day, which for me, on a weekend day - is phenomenal.

The eating at home - not too good, but not too bad. Ate out Wed, Thurs, Sat and Sun....hmmmm, maybe we didn't do as good as I was thinking. Thursday was bowling and Saturday was double date night. I have no excuses for Wed and Sun other than that's just how it worked out. We'll have to keep working on that one.

Tonight - chicken, potatoes and fresh green beans. Now I gotta go get the chick out of the freezer.

Walking vs. Running

Calories are the bane of my existence. Last year I managed to get down to 160, briefly, but after I stopped logging every morsel of food and getting up at the crack-ass-of-dawn to walk for an hour+, my weight crept back up to 174 in the span of six months. Yikes!

I changed a lot of my eating habits last year. I started eating breakfast every day, concentrated on eating five servings of fruits and vegetables a day, avoided my favorite fried foods, drank lots of water and pretty much gave up eating red meat.

Slowly, I've slipped back into old habits....fries, tater tots (dang bowling alley!), the crunchy tacos at TB instead of the chicken soft tacos al fresco style. The list goes on - belive me :D

And then there's the drinking. I cut way back on that too - but I just can't seem to go without Spanish Coffees from Katie O'Brien's or double vodka tonics at The Winchester. Our social life centers around eating and drinking out and I can see this becoming a huge struggle for me.

Anyone else facing this problem?

Rock Bottom

I said I was going to get my numbers this week - and boy did I get them.

I am 61.1 pounds of fat! (35.4%)

I weigh 174 lbs, that means I've put on 14 lbs since the wedding. I think back on it and I was working so hard (it seems to me) and I only ever got down to 160 - I have to rethink how I'm going about this.

I tried getting to 10K steps yesterday but only got in 8500 or so. I slept well I gotta say that!

Man...

Tally Up

GOOD THINGS: brushed, flossed, ate breakfast, leftovers for lunch, drank water, walked, made dinner at home.

BAD THINGS: tuna casserole, beer, stayed up too late....Goddamned LOST!

Later today I will have official numbers up here for y'all to see how whaley I start out on this thing. Srsly, you'd be amazed. I'LL be amazed...and depressed. But! Then we'll see the light when my newly calibrated pedometer and futuristic fat scale start racking up and ratcheting down the numbers.

My goal of eating out less did not work out this weekend. AND we had the kids which made it expensive. :( Better luck this week!

P.S. I DID NOT eat teh tots at the alley last week! YAY! Go me :D

Goal of COOKING AT HOME

One thing I need to work on - really hard - is eating meals at home more often.

I have the "take-my-lunch-to-work" thing down pretty well. Most days its a can of soup and some crackers. This addresses two things, frugality and weight loss.

I have the weeks that the kids are home down pretty well. Mostly because its just darn expensive to feed five people at a restaurant. Even if we just hit the BK Lounge it costs over $25. (And I can't STAND having my kids drink soda with dinner.)

Its those the kids aren't here and wouldn't it be nice to hit 'The Winchester' and catch up with everybody nights...and the bowling night...and the meet G at Lucky Lab at 4pm afternoons...and the Friday night we must go outs....and the hey its half price sushi night let's go...and the - well, you get the picture. We can easily eat out five out of seven nights and not even blink an eye.

My hubbie (oh man, as in HUBBA-HUBBA *wolf-whistle*) is a very social creature so the Friday nights thing has to stay. In fact, I can rationalize each and every night out with no problem whatsoever. I mean, if they serve TATOR TOTS at the bowling alley, I HAVE to eat them simply because that's the only place I ever see them on the menu. That makes sense right?

I'm going to tackle this goal like I've done the budget one...I'm going to write down each and every time we eat out, what "the occasion" was and how much we spent. I'm going to do this for six months then sit the man down for a serious talk.

He's bound to be shocked by how much we spend - and how effin' fat I am by then.

Spooky!

Remember that sunrise I was talking about an hour ago? Now its completely foggy outside! Rolled in out of no where...means its going to be another sunny day when this burns off - yay!

Staying on track

I found out last week that my employer is offering a fitness challenge of sorts. The winner is determined by changes in body fat and inches, not just weight. I signed up, I get weighed and measured on Thursday. The fact that I'm fat will be official. I'll have twelve weeks to change behaviors I've been practicing for the past year into habit.

OMG it's a gorgeous effin' sunrise out there!

I managed to get another hour walk in yesterday during lunch. These no rain days are really handy. The rain is a huge reason why my state's obesity rate is in the top five in the nation. It's depressing (the rain) and people comfort themselves by shoving food down their gullets. And drinking, with me its definitely the drinking. I'll bet that if I could stop drinking, I would magically lose thirty-five pounds; but who wants to be sober 365 days in a row?

(Watching the sky this morning is really awesome...)

I bought whole wheat pasta and Ahi last night at the grocery store. I managed to squeak the ww pasta by the hubbie last week. Now I'll have to get it past the kids. I planned on making tuna casserole only with the Ahi seared instead of tuna from a can. (OMG GOOD!) I don't think I've ever made tuna casserole for the kids. I made it for the ex and his reaction scarred me for the rest of my life. (A88hole)

(The sky is goddamn amazing!)

Goals for this week:

• Drink 84 ounces of water each day (Monday - didn't quite make it, only 50 ozs.)
• Cook at home way more. For me this means more than twice in one week. I KNOW! We are really bad about staying home those weeks the kids are at their dad's. We just like going out. However, its expensive and its making me fat. Well, me eating is making me fat but the going out isn't helping.
• Walk each day

I'll report back later...


p.s. the sky show is over. Goddamn it was a good one.

Of birthdays and ice cream cake

My party was a success. I've got leftovers, but by design - they're relatively healthy! :D I bought Baja Fresh and now I have masses of salad, rice and beans. Lots of salsa too - though I really need to stay away from the chips.

Better sleeping through exercise.

I've only gone two days in a row, but I'm already sleeping better after restarting my walking routine. I fall asleep quickly now instead of lying there staring at the ceiling.

Yesterday I had to testify. I was only up there a total of five minutes but the apprehension of having to do it at all interrupted my sleep cycle Tuesday night. Last night (Wed.) was much better and I didn't start tossing and turning until nearly 5 a.m.

I totally ate good stuff for me yesterday...until cake time. Every month our office celebrates birthdays with a cake and ice cream. I had Kix and banana for breakfast, Campbell's Select Pasta and Pepperoni soup for lunch and an apple for a snack. THEN CAME THE CAKE. Dang, it was good though. I topped that off with Chinese food - two plates! Though I tried to stick to the broccoli and green beans - there I go with the portion OUT of control again! Don't forget teh slice of carrot cake.

Did you see the lunar eclipse? Totally cool!

2/19



GOOD THINGS: I managed to brush, floss, drink 64 ounces of water, walk for an hour at 3.2 mph, eat dark chocolate (1 small square - for my heart ya know!)



BAD THINGS: I managed to polish off a bag of shrimp chips, have pizza for dinner (2 slices!) and eat on ice cream I bought for "them"



I am so in denial about portion control!

Enough Already!

Holy cow - my jeans are tight and walking today almost killed me. I've completely undone all the progress I made - ending up exactly where I started out around my birthday LAST year. I swore I'd "look and feel younger than I ever have" by my next birthday. Well, that didn't happen.

I figure if I write this stuff down maybe I'll do better. I'm going to use this to track my exercise, eating habits and behavioral changes. I'm a hedontist at heart which is probably why I've only made little baby steps towards where I really want to be. I just like smokin', drinkin', and screwin' around TOO MUCH! I'm lazy...

Teh fatness = blech!